I saw the signs

Today, as I was driving around town, I noticed a few signs that struck me as interesting.

The first one was outside of the Levittown Public Library. The sign read "Caution: Blind Persons Crossing." Now, this made me think... Why would there be one blind person, let alone enough blind people, inside of a library to the point where they would need a sign outside warning about there street crossing habits? Upon further research, I found out that the Levittown Public Library only had a handful of books in braille, and a limited section of books on audiotape. So lets say that on any given day, considering that Levittown is not known for its blind population, there is one blind person at the Library. Do we really need a sign to warn us about them? They would be better suited putting a "Warning: Skaters Skating" or a "People reading" sign up.

Another sign that caught my attention was at the Dalton Funeral Home on the corner of Old Country Road and Jerusalem Ave. They have a fancy new digital sign outside of it, and it displays the time (which is 5 minutes fast), the temperature (which is 5 degrees colder) and then an interesting message. It says "Drive Safely." Now to me, this seems like it would be a conflict of interest. By them telling people to be careful when they drive, they are preventing them from driving like idiots, which would lead to less people dying, which would lead to less people needing to use the funeral home. If they had any business sense, they would not only write "drive erratically and crash into poles," but they would install some kind of strobe light into the sign as well.

The final sign I saw today was on Hempstead Turnpike in East Meadow, I think. It was outside of some kind of Puerto Rican Hair Salon, which advertised procedures such as "hair weaving" and "eyebrow threading." Now I'm not the most advanced hair technician, but both of those sound extremely painful and expensive. But that wasn't what really caught me off guard. Above the "Nail Tips $5" sign, there was a sign advertising "Individual Eyelashes!" As I kept on driving, I thought to myself.. Who in their right mind would possibly need an individual eyelash? It was really mind boggling. Then, as I sat at my kitchen table eating some pancakes, I noticed an eyelash on my plate, presumably my own. Instead of thinking "Shit! An eyelash fell out! I have to go buy a new one immediately!", I continued with my day, not once noticing any missing eyelashes.

The End